Part 1

I have been taught that idle gossip is bad. I remember being a little girl in my Mother’s mothers’ home and hearing the church hens come over after early morning service and dish about all that went on in the one stop sign town. After, I was cautioned that gossip was bad, obey Jesus…so forth. I was conflicted.

Even though I love great dish, as I lust after celebrity information, juicy and sordid stories, I have to stop myself often and remind myself that dish is another term for gossip. Motivation alone gives character to the actions of men (Jean de la Bruyere). When you filter your language and thoughts, so much can fall on the side of the broom for gossip.

Gossip comes from a person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts. Rumors are unverified information that originate in a game form of telephone, a lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on (Churchill). Blake explains that a truth that is told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent. So true.

Gossip is talk (rumored/fact based) that is shared in an intimate fashion, quietly, in a personal matter. It is sensed between two people that there is a need for something buzz worthy. At what point does a discussion turn into gossip?

When you put yourself out there, people are naturally intrigued. When problems arise or the metaphorical “shit hitting the fan” happens, everyone wants a reaction – the experience comes from the reaction you deliver. Furthermore, when one appears to “have it together” people are looking under the microscope for the imperfections – why? My theory is to make themselves feel better about what they feel is ordinary about themselves or the pain that they choose to be in.

There are aspects of my life I choose not to discuss in an intimate matter with those who are not in my Trust Tree – Trust Tree is a close knit circle that is different for each individual and may contain as few people that you can count on one hand; up to 5 – this is not limited to my relationships, views, and secret knowledge that I am privy to.

I have the esteemed advantage of working closely with people providing opportunities as partners, colleagues, and dear friends. Even though these individuals are independent contractors, they work with me, under an establishment which I am responsible for. Everything from health, marital, legal, financial, motivation (good and bad), and life and death situations were covered in my first year.

The question I want to ask everyone is when someone chooses to leave (near death experience, “personal reason”, “break”, “sabbatical”, “vacation”) for whatever passive, passive/aggressive, or aggressive reason, because I am friendly, what would make you think that I will candidly share the WHY? Sometimes I do not get a straight WHY.

On another note, I treat my independent contractors like family. This is a loaded statement that has really made me re-evaluate many things from the past with my family. In a German-Catholic/Methodist infusion of the British-stick up-the-butt and the French ooh-la-la…dys-functional is a term that would have many bullet points in the definition. There is love, no matter what tone of voice it holds. Aside, I love everyone I work with. There is no hate in my heart, even when I realize that acting was not foreseen when the initial journey began and that this person has sold me a version of themselves to love far from the truth. Maybe I am gullible?

Family. When someone is my family, I discuss them only with specific family members. Clients are like family too – dear extended family who we would like to come in and join our family. But one thing I will not do is publicly stone my family, hurt them by telling their business (because really – a WHY is THEIR business), or give my opinion because it is gossip and far from love.

Miguel Angel Ruiz puts it best:

“Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

As much as I enjoy dirty laundry, the last thing I seek is to hurt my family, their character, or create further injury to their pain. Isn’t gossip (the fact or fiction) we speak of others just a louder statement about how we really feel about ourselves?

Put best by Jenna from Sports Nutrition – shut your face. Gossip is likened to bad breath, we see it and smell it from others, not ourselves. Take a deep breath. In the place of the gossip, let love and light pour into this space and take of the verbal diarrhea that was preparing to launch a stinky situation and say something that displays your character and lifts the evolution of all.